


How do you kiss someone?

by orphan_account



Category: Tales of Xillia
Genre: Fluff, Kissing, M/M, first kisses?? yeah, jude is a confused bby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-01
Updated: 2016-03-01
Packaged: 2018-05-24 03:52:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6140668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jude is a flustered and very bi baby who can't understand his feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How do you kiss someone?

**Author's Note:**

> i started this at 6 am after not sleeping all night so if theres mistakes that is why

Jude buried his head in his arms in frustration, lost in thought. Thoughts that were centered around 'is it possible to have feelings for more then one person' and 'is it even possible to have feelings for the same sex' weighed on his mind. It was a late night in the inn and he'd just wanted to go to sleep but instead he's flustered over this. He wasn't really sure at first, but after a while he realized that the feelings he had for Alvin weren't just friendly. It's not only those questions that have bothered him for a while but also, 'hey jude he's like ten years older then you what the hell man' was another frequent one. He groaned loudly, frustrated at his feelings. Possibly a little too loudly when the next thing he heard was a knock at the door.

_Oh great who could this be, he thought._

"Come in," he lazily mumbled through his arms, picking his head up to see who it was.

Of course, who else could it be then Alvin.

 _You know, of all the people I ever could possibly want to see right now, he's the last,_ he thought.

"Not to intrude or anything but you doin' okay kid?" Alvin inquired.

"Were you waiting outside my door or do you have hypersensitive hearing? My groan couldn't possibly have been that loud," he scoffed.

"Ouch, kid. I'm just trying to help you out here. You haven't exactly been yourself the past month," he said, closing one eye and shrugging.

"So you know me after only a while now?" he said, possibly a little too harsh.

Jude realizes he's probably being a bit of an ass right now, and pushes his face back in his arms.

"Sorry, you're right I haven't been and there's a perfectly good reason for that," he says, muffled.

"And that being?" Alvin asked.

He has the chance to tell him, or ask him.

_'Hey Alvin is it possible to be attracted to more then one person at once and that it's of the same sex as well. Oh and that's you. I'm attracted to you maybe.'_

He couldn't say that. He was already confused at his mixed feelings for Alvin and Milla. Sure, he's got a major crush on Milla but this Alvin thing, it pisses him off.

_Maybe I should kiss him? Like as a test? It's not like he'd leave us, not after what's happened, he always comes back. But what if he does? What if he hates me? What if I actually like the kiss what if I actually fall in love oh my God. I can't do that like hello Jude he's ten years older then me. I am a wreck right now and Alvin being here isn't helping._

The more he thought about everything, the more frustrated and flustered he got. He didn't realize but Alvin had sat across the table and was watching him twist and turn his head into his arms.

"Uh, Jude?" He asked.

That brought him back to reality. He stood up, hands smacking the table. His face felt warm, he thought was probably blushing.

_Wait how does one kiss someone else._

His face felt hotter. He knew he had to be blushing.

"Jude...?"

"Alvin how do I kiss someone," he stated, not much boldness to make it a question.

Alvin started laughing once he heard that, thinking that was the only reason why he wasn't himself all month.

"Teach me how to kiss," he weakly mumbled out.

The laughing stopped immediately.

"You, you dont mean with me, right?" He asked, cheeks with a very slight yet still visible shade of pink showing.

"I-I'm serious," he manages to mumble out through his flustered state.

"Jude did you think this through clearly I know you're smart but that doesn't seem to be the case this time I am ten years older then you I can't do that," Alvin says, blushing becoming more visible when he realizes Jude is serious about this.

"Alvin I need you to do this I need to... you don't need to know why I need you to do this," he says, quieting himself halfway through the sentence.

"You have to ask someone else if you want personal practice I can only tell you how- wait, wait what was that, why do you need me to do this?" Alvin pressed him.  
Jude wishes he never asked that, or that he never accidentally slipped that out. His entire body felt like it was on fire, from embarrassment and you know, this entire situation. Despite how ridiculous this problem seemed to be, he needed to find out. He knew how to start a kiss, at least he thought. He walked around the table, a little too fast, or maybe not since he wanted Alvin to not move. Moving a knee between his legs and grabbing his cheek with one hand, making sure he wouldn't get away, he stared at Alvin's eyes for a few seconds before getting embarrassed, cheeks going flushed again.

"I told you, you don't need to know why."

"Jude wai-"

Jude pressed his lips against Alvin's, trying to remember how kissing looked from memory, from books he'd read. Alvin didn't push him away like he'd acted like he would, and much to Jude's surprise, pushed back into the kiss. Lips pressed together again and again, making both of them get a little too into it. Eventually, and very quickly, Alvin had to break the kiss, but Jude would continue it, enjoying it more then he ever could've expected. Alvin had to forcefully push the kid off of him, wiping the saliva from his lips.

"Is that really what you wanted? That didn't feel like a practice kiss meant for Milla. It felt like you wanted to do that. For a while, actually," Alvin said, looking anywhere but at Jude.

Jude stared at him, cheeks set ablaze and heart pounding. He slowly brought his hand up to wipe the saliva off his lips, touching them gently.

_I kissed Alvin with these I kissed him and I liked it. I am the worst this isn't okay. But I enjoyed that way too much._

"I'm... I'm sorry. I wanted to know if there was anything I felt for you and I thought if I kissed you maybe it would've gone away, that whatever it was, was just a small crush that would go away," Jude stated.

"So that's why you haven't been yourself. Did it also cross your mind that I'm not the best person to have any sort of feeling for, friendly or more?" Alvin asked.

"You mean the part where you're way older then me, because my feelings decided to ignore that," Jude said.

"Hey kid, I sort of expected this to be a reason why, maybe not exactly towards me but that's just how it worked out. You can't control your own feelings, don't beat yourself over that," Alvin said, finally looking back at him.

"Yeah you're right. We can't exactly forget this ever happened can we? Or maybe I won't be able to," Jude said.

He got lost in thought once he said that, thinking back to the kiss. It was... interesting and felt exactly as Alvin said afterwards, like he'd wanted to do that, for a while. He realized Alvin had been talking but stopped when he realized Jude was gazing intently at him again.

"Are you thinking of doing that again? It's not a good idea kid. Just forget about it alright? Wait till you're older, then we'll talk," Alvin stated.

He's right, he needed to rethink this. Wait. Then talk about it later. Wait wait wait.

"Then we'll talk? Alvin is there something you want to say?" Jude asked, smirking.

"Hey you know what time it is? Time to go to sleep," Alvin said, getting up to leave.

"You know you also never answered me if you'd been waiting outside that door. You're not that good of a liar you know," Jude said, still smirking.

"Still a pretty damn good one, but you need to forget this and sleep and stop asking anymore questions about me," Alvin said, opening the door.

"You can't hide some things either," Jude smiled, "but we'll just put this conversation and all on hold, right?"

"Right, now get some sleep," Alvin said, closing the door behind him.

He was a blushing mess when he went back to his room, though Jude kind of knew he was once he turned his back to him to leave.

_Sure we'll continue this alright. You just wait Alvin._

Jude's thoughts were everywhere that night before falling asleep. He'd deal with them for another year.

 


End file.
